Entry from the diary of Alice Ehrmann from April 21, 1945, in which she reflects on her feelings at the end of World War II.
April 21, 1945 [excerpted]
[. . .]Another group of 170 arrived this evening. Days under way without food, without sleep, from Eudendorf near Chemnitz — KZ. Two hundred from the Et transport, all acquaintances, Dvory, Kitty, Gerda, Cvok Winternitz, Putka, Lydia, Vera Slv and others. A wave of insane joy — complete, Eva, Tutsch, Deborah. No lice! Eight days under way from Leitmeritz to Theresienstadt [Terezín]. Waited for five days on the road, Prominents’ ghetto.
[. . .] God, this bitterness and this thankfulness, this hopelessness and desperation and eternal hope without end, pulverized and exhausted, brave and broken, and you — I feel completely empty inside; everything has been torn out, perhaps even my heart. Only a suffocating feeling, a prayer and a curse simultaneously directed at heaven. Everything, everything is over, and I can’t believe it.1